fartgallery:

I’m really careful with using exaggerated compliments because one time I told a girl that she was so cute I was going to have a stroke and she didnt reply and it wasn’t until 2 hours later that I realized she thought I meant I was going to masturbate

(via chicken-and-biscuits)

I’m ready to move on I just need someone worth moving on with.

• Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
• Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
• Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me

sagarnaga:

how wonderful is it that we laugh because our bodies cannot contain the joy 

(via realize-im-not-like-the-rest)

dennys:

termsofenragement:

dennys:

Relationship status: Breakfast

It’s two thirty in the afternoon.

When we’re together time doesn’t exist.

(via chicken-and-biscuits)